1 00:00:00,930 --> 00:00:03,660 There is a crazy 2 00:00:00,930 --> 00:00:03,660 flu going around. 3 00:00:03,730 --> 00:00:08,190 Lots of miserable, 4 00:00:03,730 --> 00:00:08,190 dehydrated people with 5 00:00:03,730 --> 00:00:08,190 high fevers and diarrhea. 6 00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:13,400 And one of those 7 00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:13,400 dehydrated, high-fevered, 8 00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:13,400 miserable people is April. 9 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:15,130 Who hates me. 10 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,180 I want another nurse. 11 00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:22,620 Well, there are none. 12 00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:22,620 We're stretched 13 00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:22,620 pretty thin right now. 14 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,980 Then, I want a janitor. 15 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,980 They can do 16 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,980 what you do, right? 17 00:00:25,450 --> 00:00:28,150 Yep. Nurses and janitors 18 00:00:25,450 --> 00:00:28,150 are totally interchangeable. 19 00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:31,280 Except no one 20 00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:31,280 dresses up like a janitor 21 00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:31,280 when they want to be slutty. 22 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,730 I get the sense that 23 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,730 maybe you're angry at me 24 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,730 for kissing Andy. 25 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,360 No, I'm not. 26 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,360 What are you talking about? 27 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,360 That's crazy. 28 00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:39,960 And that you think 29 00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:39,960 it might be fun to 30 00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:39,960 take it out on me. 31 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,570 Please don't do that. 32 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,840 Do? I can't do anything. 33 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,840 I'm sick. 34 00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:51,210 My blankets are on the floor. 35 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,510 So, JJ, we wanted to 36 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,510 talk to you about 37 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,510 the Harvest Festival. 38 00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,700 Yeah, I heard you 39 00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,700 were bringing that back. 40 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,340 Sorry, I haven't 41 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,340 been feeling myself. 42 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,080 Well, I'm organizing 43 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,080 this huge Harvest Festival 44 00:01:27,150 --> 00:01:31,210 and I need at least 45 00:01:27,150 --> 00:01:31,210 80 local businesses 46 00:01:27,150 --> 00:01:31,210 to participate. 47 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,120 And normally this 48 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,120 is the kind of thing 49 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,120 I would love to do. 50 00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:37,020 But, I'm just 51 00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:37,020 feeling really tired. 52 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,730 I think maybe my 53 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,730 allergies are acting up. 54 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,090 I've already vomited, 55 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,090 like, five times today. 56 00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:46,890 We're having a meeting 57 00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:46,890 tonight at the Chamber 58 00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:46,890 of Commerce 59 00:01:46,970 --> 00:01:48,870 and we're going to go 60 00:01:46,970 --> 00:01:48,870 over all the details. 61 00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:51,000 And we'd just love 62 00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:51,000 if you could come 63 00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:51,000 and join us. 64 00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:52,060 Sure. 65 00:01:52,610 --> 00:01:54,340 Anything for my 66 00:01:52,610 --> 00:01:54,340 favorite customer. 67 00:01:54,410 --> 00:01:56,340 I bet you say that 68 00:01:54,410 --> 00:01:56,340 to all the girls. 69 00:01:56,410 --> 00:01:58,610 Oh, no. 70 00:01:56,410 --> 00:01:58,610 No, actually, 71 00:01:56,410 --> 00:01:58,610 you're my favorite. 72 00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:02,550 You spent over 73 00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:02,550 $1,000 last year 74 00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:02,550 on waffles alone. 75 00:02:05,650 --> 00:02:06,780 Here. 76 00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:09,280 I didn't know 77 00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:09,280 what to bring you, 78 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,520 so I just got some 79 00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,520 magazines and lipstick. 80 00:02:12,130 --> 00:02:13,120 Woman stuff. 81 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,320 Thanks. All my parents 82 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,320 got me was that. 83 00:02:17,730 --> 00:02:21,360 Okay. Well, I'm not 84 00:02:17,730 --> 00:02:21,360 very good at visiting 85 00:02:17,730 --> 00:02:21,360 people in hospitals, 86 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,430 so I'm going to go. 87 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,140 Hey. If you see Andy, 88 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,140 will you not 89 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:27,140 tell him I'm here? 90 00:02:27,610 --> 00:02:28,940 Okay. 91 00:02:27,610 --> 00:02:28,940 Because of what happened, 92 00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:30,380 I don't want 93 00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:30,380 him to think... 94 00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:30,380 Stop! 95 00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:32,080 Don't want to know. 96 00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:36,110 The less I know about 97 00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:36,110 other people's affairs, 98 00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:36,110 the happier I am. 99 00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:38,410 I'm not interested in 100 00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:38,410 caring about people. 101 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:42,880 I once worked with 102 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:42,880 a guy for three years 103 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:42,880 and never learned his name. 104 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,650 Best friend I ever had. 105 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:49,150 We still 106 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:49,150 never talk sometimes. 107 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:55,930 So, we've developed 108 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:55,930 a revenue sharing formula 109 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:58,800 that will hopefully 110 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:58,800 appeal to most 111 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:58,800 business owners, but... 112 00:02:58,870 --> 00:03:01,710 Leslie. 113 00:02:58,870 --> 00:03:01,710 Go home. You're sick. 114 00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:04,080 I'm not sick. 115 00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:04,080 It's just allergies. 116 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,580 Come on, guys. 117 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,580 Just let me in there. 118 00:03:05,650 --> 00:03:06,810 No. 119 00:03:05,650 --> 00:03:06,810 You can't come in here. 120 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:07,910 You're not coming in. 121 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:10,580 Leslie, you look tired 122 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:10,580 and you're all sweaty. 123 00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:11,920 You look tired and 124 00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:11,920 you're all sweaty 125 00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:13,320 all the time. 126 00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:13,320 What's your excuse? 127 00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:14,380 You want to go there, Jerry? 128 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,120 No. 129 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,120 Fine, 130 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,120 I'm coming in. 131 00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:18,320 Donna, barricade 132 00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:18,320 the door now. 133 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:21,200 Donna, come on. 134 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:21,200 Just let me in. 135 00:03:21,260 --> 00:03:22,320 Mmm-mmm. 136 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,700 Either go home or go 137 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,700 back into quarantine. 138 00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,290 I'm not going home. 139 00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:28,270 Get out of here, 140 00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:28,270 Leslie. Go home. 141 00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:28,270 Hit the bricks. 142 00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:36,410 Come on. No, no, 143 00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:36,410 no, no, no, no. She's 144 00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:36,410 germing up all my stuff. 145 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:37,670 Aw, yuck! 146 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:38,980 Leslie! 147 00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,710 Ann Perkins. 148 00:03:42,850 --> 00:03:44,410 Hey. How was your run? 149 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:47,590 Ended with 150 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:47,590 a five-and-a-half minute 151 00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:47,590 mile. My personal low. 152 00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:49,920 I think the pavement 153 00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:49,920 in this town is soft. 154 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,250 What's with the mask? 155 00:03:51,390 --> 00:03:52,420 Flu prevention. 156 00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:54,390 My body is finely-tuned, 157 00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:54,390 like a microchip, 158 00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:56,290 and the flu is 159 00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:56,290 like a grain of sand. 160 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,920 It could literally shut 161 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,920 down the entire system. 162 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,800 My body's like a chip, too. 163 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,800 A potato chip. 164 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:03,990 No. 165 00:04:04,070 --> 00:04:07,510 Speaking of potato chips, 166 00:04:04,070 --> 00:04:07,510 you and I are on for 167 00:04:04,070 --> 00:04:07,510 dinner tomorrow, yes? 168 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:12,980 Yes. Definitely. 169 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:12,980 I'm super, super excited. 170 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:12,980 Looking forward to it. 171 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,370 Excellent. 172 00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,620 Way to go, buddy. 173 00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,620 Way to go. 174 00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:21,710 We've been on 175 00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:21,710 a couple of dates. 176 00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:21,710 I really like him. 177 00:04:22,390 --> 00:04:25,690 The problem is 178 00:04:22,390 --> 00:04:25,690 he's like a perfect human man. 179 00:04:26,330 --> 00:04:28,190 I can't find one flaw. 180 00:04:29,230 --> 00:04:31,700 There was one time 181 00:04:29,230 --> 00:04:31,700 I thought he farted. 182 00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:33,500 But it was me. 183 00:04:36,770 --> 00:04:39,110 I need to find someone 184 00:04:36,770 --> 00:04:39,110 to fill in for April. 185 00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:42,710 Now, I know I'm not 186 00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:42,710 going to find someone 187 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,780 who's both aggressively 188 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,780 mean and apathetic. 189 00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:49,040 April really is 190 00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:49,040 the whole package. 191 00:04:49,650 --> 00:04:51,590 But I think 192 00:04:49,650 --> 00:04:51,590 I might know someone 193 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,660 who will be just 194 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,660 as ineffective. 195 00:04:57,290 --> 00:04:59,990 Hello, Andrew. 196 00:04:57,290 --> 00:04:59,990 What's new? 197 00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:02,200 A whole lot! 198 00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:05,300 Check this out. 199 00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:05,300 I just invented it. 200 00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:05,300 Super-straw. 201 00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:13,770 So, just sit here 202 00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:13,770 and do your thing. 203 00:05:14,110 --> 00:05:15,200 Do I have to tuck 204 00:05:14,110 --> 00:05:15,200 my shirt in? 205 00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:17,440 Because, honestly, 206 00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:17,440 that's kind of a deal breaker. 207 00:05:17,510 --> 00:05:18,500 Let it fly. 208 00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:21,320 Hey, wait. Where is April? 209 00:05:21,850 --> 00:05:23,410 Is she all right? 210 00:05:21,850 --> 00:05:23,410 Yeah. 211 00:05:23,650 --> 00:05:26,020 I just gave her the day off. 212 00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:27,750 Would it be weird 213 00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:27,750 if I asked for the day off? 214 00:05:29,060 --> 00:05:31,690 Yeah, no, it's okay. 215 00:05:29,060 --> 00:05:31,690 I didn't think so. 216 00:05:32,590 --> 00:05:34,720 I'm sorry. Are you leaving? 217 00:05:32,590 --> 00:05:34,720 I thought we had a meeting. 218 00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:37,200 No, we do. It's just 219 00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:37,200 I think it's 220 00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:37,200 a little chilly in here. 221 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,730 Are you okay? 222 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,730 Your eyes are glassy. 223 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,500 Oh, my God. 224 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,500 Oh, my... Is she... 225 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,500 Is she sick? Are you sick? 226 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,790 No. 227 00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:43,930 Yeah! She's sick. 228 00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:48,600 That's why I'm wearing this, 229 00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:48,600 and misting myself 230 00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:48,600 with hand sanitizer. 231 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,510 I am not sick. 232 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,510 I just have allergies, okay? 233 00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:53,140 I took a Claritin 234 00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:53,140 and I threw that up, 235 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:54,840 so I took another one. 236 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:54,840 I threw that up. 237 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,220 And then, I took 238 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,220 a third and it stayed down. 239 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,220 I'm getting better. 240 00:05:58,290 --> 00:05:59,580 All right. 241 00:05:58,290 --> 00:05:59,580 You're burning up. 242 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,050 You're burning up. What? 243 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,490 I have to get 244 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,490 out of here. 245 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,550 I have 2.8% body fat. 246 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:07,220 My body is like a microchip. 247 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:07,220 A grain of sand 248 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:07,220 could destroy it. 249 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,200 My body's a microchip. 250 00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:13,300 Leslie, go home. 251 00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:13,300 No, I can't. 252 00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:15,560 I can't go home. 253 00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:15,560 I have to get ready 254 00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:15,560 for the Chamber of Secrets. 255 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:16,860 Commerce. 256 00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:17,960 If this meeting 257 00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:17,960 does not go perfectly, 258 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,130 then the Harvest Festival 259 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,130 is going to be over 260 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,130 before it begins. 261 00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:21,340 I cannot go home. 262 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,000 Okay, then, 263 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,000 who's your doctor? 264 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,270 Ann's my doctor. 265 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,470 And she's 266 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,470 the most beautiful nurse 267 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,470 in the world. 268 00:06:27,650 --> 00:06:28,740 Come on. 269 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,550 Oh, God. Now, I'm hot. 270 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,550 Now, it's really hot in here. 271 00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:32,550 Okay, well, 272 00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:32,550 that's your fever. 273 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,390 Leslie, I typed your symptoms 274 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,390 into the thing up here, 275 00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:38,990 and it says you could 276 00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:38,990 have "network 277 00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:38,990 connectivity problems". 278 00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:41,390 104.1. 279 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,760 Leslie, you're dehydrated. 280 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,760 I'm admitting you. 281 00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:45,820 If I was sick, 282 00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:45,820 could I do this? 283 00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:50,730 What are 284 00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:50,730 you doing? 285 00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:50,730 Cartwheels. 286 00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:53,810 Am I not doing them? 287 00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:53,810 No. 288 00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:57,180 Look, don't worry. 289 00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:57,180 I've done presentations 290 00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:57,180 like this before, 291 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,680 and Tom will be with me. 292 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,680 So, you're in good hands. 293 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:01,580 It's not that 294 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:01,580 I don't trust Ben. 295 00:07:03,150 --> 00:07:05,120 It's that I don't 296 00:07:03,150 --> 00:07:05,120 have faith in Ben. 297 00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:09,810 And, also, I'm starting 298 00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:09,810 to forget who Ben is. 299 00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:14,730 I'll handle 300 00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:14,730 the general outline. 301 00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:14,730 If you want to... 302 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,030 Look. 303 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,030 ...just jump right in. 304 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,560 The worst thing you can do 305 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,560 with an important 306 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,560 presentation like this 307 00:07:18,630 --> 00:07:19,620 is over-prepare. 308 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,170 Well... 309 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,170 So, 310 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,900 I think it's best 311 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,900 if I go to the spa. 312 00:07:23,570 --> 00:07:25,940 No, we promised Leslie 313 00:07:23,570 --> 00:07:25,940 we'd prep for the meeting. 314 00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:27,600 No, Ben. You promised Leslie. 315 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,840 See, I never 316 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,840 promise Leslie anything. 317 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:32,140 That way, 318 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:32,140 I never disappoint her. 319 00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:33,200 I try to be considerate. 320 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:39,620 Well, I am off for a soak 321 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:39,620 and a schvitz. Arrivederch. 322 00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:47,990 Ron Swanson's office. 323 00:07:49,530 --> 00:07:51,660 Yes, I will transfer you. 324 00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:58,770 I just dropped another call. 325 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,950 I thought you might like 326 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,950 a fresh set of pillows. 327 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:09,310 Are you trying 328 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:09,310 to smother me? 329 00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:11,450 Help! This slutty nurse 330 00:08:09,650 --> 00:08:11,450 is trying to 331 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,390 smother me to death 332 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,390 with a pillow! 333 00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:15,220 Okay, never mind. 334 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:16,620 Stay back, slut! 335 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,530 I know what 336 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,530 she's trying to do. 337 00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:20,090 She's trying to 338 00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:20,090 get me to break. 339 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,190 And you know what? 340 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,190 I'm not going to do it. 341 00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:24,960 I'm going to be professional 342 00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:24,960 and I'm going to 343 00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:24,960 put on a happy face. 344 00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:26,760 And then, I'm going to 345 00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:26,760 go into a supply closet 346 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,100 and snap a bunch of 347 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,100 tongue depressors. 348 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:31,900 Okay. So, 349 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:31,900 let's talk about 350 00:08:29,170 --> 00:08:31,900 your opening remarks. 351 00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,570 Do you want me to 352 00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,570 write you a rap? 353 00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,570 I'll write you a rap. 354 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:35,630 No, you know what? 355 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:37,710 You're never going to 356 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:37,710 be able to pull it off. 357 00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:37,710 You're too white. 358 00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:38,800 How about a show tune 359 00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:38,800 or something? 360 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:43,340 I was just planning 361 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:43,340 to introduce myself, 362 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:43,340 non-musically, 363 00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:45,680 and then, get everyone 364 00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:45,680 to refer to their packets. 365 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,620 And blah, blah, blah. 366 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,620 No. 367 00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:49,920 No "blah, blah, blah", okay? 368 00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:51,760 You need to go over 369 00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:51,760 every single detail with me. 370 00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:55,820 Leslie, I promise you 371 00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:55,820 I won't half-ass this. 372 00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:55,820 Okay? Now, get some rest. 373 00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:58,160 I have some great news. 374 00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:58,160 I think my fever just broke. 375 00:08:58,230 --> 00:08:59,220 Goodbye. 376 00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:07,300 It just came out. 377 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,480 I am starving. 378 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,480 I haven't had lunch 379 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,480 since yesterday. 380 00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,070 So, I'm going to 381 00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,070 head over to Callahan's. 382 00:09:13,210 --> 00:09:15,840 Oh, no, no, no. 383 00:09:13,210 --> 00:09:15,840 Don't go there. They 384 00:09:13,210 --> 00:09:15,840 totally skimp on pickles. 385 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,910 Let me go to Big 386 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,910 Head Joe's for you. 387 00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:20,080 They have 388 00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:20,080 the most insane burritos. 389 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,450 I don't much go 390 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,450 for ethnic food. 391 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,290 No, trust me. They have 392 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,290 one that's called 393 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,290 the "Meat Tornado". 394 00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:27,590 It literally 395 00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:27,590 killed a guy last year. 396 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,990 You had me 397 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,990 at "Meat Tornado". 398 00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:35,400 What are you doing? 399 00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:36,660 Hey. That flu 400 00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:36,660 medicine really helped. 401 00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:39,710 I feel 402 00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:39,710 a thousand percent better. 403 00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:39,710 Good as new. 404 00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:40,760 Does this scarf look okay? 405 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,710 I don't want to look stuffy. 406 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,710 But I also don't want 407 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,710 to look too "schlubby". 408 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,640 Get back in that bed. 409 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,640 So no to the scarf? 410 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,010 Get back in the bed. 411 00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:48,480 No, I'm going 412 00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:48,480 to that meeting. 413 00:09:48,550 --> 00:09:51,150 Either you get 414 00:09:48,550 --> 00:09:51,150 back in the bed, 415 00:09:48,550 --> 00:09:51,150 or I will strap you down. 416 00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:53,920 I've done it before. 417 00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:53,920 Don't test me. 418 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,230 Okay, okay, okay. 419 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,230 Now, what superpower 420 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,230 would you rather have? 421 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:06,360 Would you rather 422 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:06,360 be able to fly 423 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:06,360 or be invisible? 424 00:10:06,470 --> 00:10:08,030 Ed, go first. 425 00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:09,760 Fly, I guess. 426 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,200 I forgot to tell you. 427 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,200 You can only fly five feet 428 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,200 above the ground. 429 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,410 I bring a certain 430 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,410 panache and spice 431 00:10:16,810 --> 00:10:18,680 to the spa experience 432 00:10:16,810 --> 00:10:18,680 for these guys. 433 00:10:18,780 --> 00:10:20,840 Before I joined, 434 00:10:18,780 --> 00:10:20,840 they were just 435 00:10:18,780 --> 00:10:20,840 three old white dudes 436 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,280 quietly boiling in hot water. 437 00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:28,450 Would you rather 438 00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:28,450 live in the pocket 439 00:10:23,450 --> 00:10:28,450 of a giant kangaroo 440 00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:32,650 or have a pocket 441 00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:32,650 on your own stomach 442 00:10:33,030 --> 00:10:35,550 that has a tiny kangaroo 443 00:10:33,030 --> 00:10:35,550 in it all the time? 444 00:10:35,630 --> 00:10:36,720 Preston. 445 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,360 Tiny kangaroo in 446 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,360 my stomach pocket. 447 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:42,430 Forgot to mention, 448 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:42,430 the tiny kangaroo 449 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:42,430 is a racist. 450 00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:48,110 Hey, Ann. 451 00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:48,110 What happened? 452 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,840 I just saw you 453 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,840 a few hours ago, 454 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,840 and you were fine. 455 00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:54,580 Not like, 456 00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:54,580 "Damn, you're fine," 457 00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:54,580 but fine health-wise. 458 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,880 My body has no fat 459 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,880 to protect itself 460 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,880 from disease. 461 00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:59,010 Things happen very quickly. 462 00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:59,010 Listen to me. 463 00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:02,890 It's very important that 464 00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:02,890 you replenish my body 465 00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:02,890 with electrolytes 466 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,620 after every involuntary 467 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,620 loss of bodily fluids. 468 00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:06,960 Oh, boy. 469 00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:06,960 My body tends to lose 470 00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:09,790 a lot of fluids 471 00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:09,790 when it's sick. 472 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,990 My brain is on fire. 473 00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,990 I'm dying. 474 00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:14,960 Well, you definitely 475 00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:14,960 have the flu. 476 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,130 Oh, my God. 477 00:11:17,570 --> 00:11:19,600 The microchip has 478 00:11:17,570 --> 00:11:19,600 been compromised. 479 00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:23,310 Pierre Garcon was 480 00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:23,310 a sixth-round pick. 481 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,700 Collie was the fourth round. 482 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:29,310 Indianapolis Colts 483 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:29,310 know how to draft so well. 484 00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:30,410 They really do. 485 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,450 Andy, this was delicious. 486 00:11:33,690 --> 00:11:34,990 It's awesome, huh? 487 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,380 It's a whole new 488 00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,380 meat delivery system. 489 00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:39,860 Thank you, son. 490 00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:41,760 What do you say we go 491 00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:41,760 out to the parking lot, 492 00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:43,960 run a few pass plays 493 00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:43,960 to burn off the calories? 494 00:11:44,030 --> 00:11:47,160 You are an unstoppable 495 00:11:44,030 --> 00:11:47,160 good idea machine! 496 00:11:48,570 --> 00:11:50,060 I like Andy. 497 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:53,610 I'm surrounded 498 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:53,610 by a lot of women 499 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:53,610 in this department. 500 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,080 And that includes the men. 501 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,270 Hup, hup, hup! 502 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:02,950 Peyton Manning 503 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:02,950 reading the defense! 504 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:02,950 Reggie Wayne, Colts corner! 505 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,090 Andy, wait up! 506 00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:17,050 Hey, April. 507 00:12:17,130 --> 00:12:19,430 I saw that you called 508 00:12:17,130 --> 00:12:19,430 for me. What can 509 00:12:17,130 --> 00:12:19,430 I do for you? 510 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:21,330 I need more flu medicine. 511 00:12:21,470 --> 00:12:23,300 An actual request. 512 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:27,510 Well, you can't have any. 513 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:27,510 That stuff is powerful, 514 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:27,510 no extra doses. 515 00:12:27,610 --> 00:12:28,980 I didn't take any. 516 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,980 Leslie came in here 517 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,980 and stole it and left. 518 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,980 Leslie? Leslie! 519 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,310 Hey, have you seen Leslie? 520 00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:41,880 I had a dream 521 00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:44,190 that she came 522 00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:44,190 into this room, 523 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:48,030 stole my flu medicine, 524 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:48,030 told me not to tell you, 525 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,120 and then disappeared 526 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,120 through that hole 527 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,120 in the wall. 528 00:12:50,730 --> 00:12:51,830 The door? 529 00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:54,500 Maybe we should 530 00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:54,500 get, like, a suite 531 00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:54,500 here for them, okay? 532 00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:56,500 Ben Wyatt! Hello! 533 00:12:56,740 --> 00:12:57,900 Hi, Leslie. 534 00:12:57,970 --> 00:12:59,440 Good to see you. 535 00:12:57,970 --> 00:12:59,440 You, too. 536 00:13:00,010 --> 00:13:01,810 Wow, you're really burning up. 537 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,810 Can I get some money 538 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,810 for the cab that I took 539 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,810 over here, please? 540 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:05,870 Sure. How much? 541 00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:07,040 I'm not sure. 542 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,380 I looked at the meter, 543 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,380 and it had Egyptian 544 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,380 hieroglyphics on it. 545 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,010 Wow. 546 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,010 Do you know the 547 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,010 exchange rate? 548 00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:14,050 So should we do this? 549 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,390 Oh, boy. Hold on. 550 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,080 Be careful. 551 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,080 What? 552 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,720 The floor and 553 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,720 the wall just switched. 554 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,400 Okay. 555 00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:24,970 Walk very carefully. 556 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,080 You know, I find it 557 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,080 a little insulting 558 00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:36,680 that you don't 559 00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:36,680 trust me to handle this. 560 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,210 It's not that 561 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,210 I don't trust you, okay? 562 00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:44,310 It's just this Harvest 563 00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:44,310 Festival is my project. 564 00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:44,310 It's my career on the line. 565 00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:46,280 And I just need 566 00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:46,280 to make sure that 567 00:13:46,420 --> 00:13:47,950 I've done everything 568 00:13:46,420 --> 00:13:47,950 I can to make it work. 569 00:13:49,460 --> 00:13:52,550 Okay. It's show time. 570 00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:54,120 Okay. 571 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:58,270 Good evening, everyone. 572 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:58,270 I'm Leslie Monster. 573 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:58,270 And this is Nightline. 574 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,730 Okay, I wouldn't 575 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,730 open with that. 576 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:00,730 No? 577 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,600 Why don't we sit down. Okay? 578 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,600 Yep. 579 00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:06,440 Libertarianism is all 580 00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:06,440 about individual liberty. 581 00:14:06,570 --> 00:14:10,240 And it should never be 582 00:14:06,570 --> 00:14:10,240 defined by the terms 583 00:14:06,570 --> 00:14:10,240 "liberal" or "conservative." 584 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,650 And communism is 585 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,650 no good, right? 586 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,650 That's right. 587 00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:15,340 Big swing and a miss. 588 00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:18,280 And what's the word 589 00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:18,280 for when a few clerics 590 00:14:15,450 --> 00:14:18,280 are in charge? 591 00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:20,340 Religious oligarchy. 592 00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:21,480 Holy... 593 00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:23,880 I can remember things. 594 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,080 I guess. 595 00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:27,750 Hey, keep mine rare. 596 00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:30,320 A man after my own heart. 597 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,630 I vomited 598 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,630 somewhere in this room. 599 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,100 I don't remember 600 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,100 where, though. 601 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,640 Wait. You might want 602 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,640 to check that drawer. 603 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,480 Stop pooping. 604 00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:48,180 You have to get up 605 00:14:46,350 --> 00:14:48,180 off the floor now. 606 00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:50,220 This floor is my friend. 607 00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:52,790 Nothing like 608 00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:52,790 a complete 609 00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:52,790 physical breakdown 610 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,290 to make a guy seem 611 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,290 less intimidating. 612 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:56,760 I love the flu. 613 00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:58,190 And then I said, 614 00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:58,190 "You know what? 615 00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:00,960 "I think we need 616 00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:00,960 to get these bananas 617 00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:00,960 out of here." 618 00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:03,990 Have a seat, boys. 619 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,900 Oh, hey, Tom, 620 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,900 glad you could make it. 621 00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:08,400 You have a nice day 622 00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:08,400 with your spa buddies? 623 00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:10,230 Actually, yes, Ben, 624 00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:10,230 I did. 625 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,710 And my spa buddies 626 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,710 own a couple of car 627 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,710 dealerships in town, 628 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,610 and they've agreed to 629 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,610 donate a fleet of vehicles 630 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,610 for Harvest Festival, 631 00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:20,540 twenty-five vans 632 00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:20,540 for the entire event. 633 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,810 Okay, Tom, I'm ready. 634 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,810 Get up there 635 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,810 and introduce me. 636 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,110 You got it. 637 00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:25,180 I can't let you 638 00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:25,180 do this, Leslie. 639 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:27,950 Hey, this ain't 640 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:27,950 your call, McCluskey. 641 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,490 Hey, Ron, 642 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,490 can I ask you a question? 643 00:15:33,060 --> 00:15:34,150 Sure. 644 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,420 It's about April. 645 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,130 I don't like to get involved 646 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,130 in people's personal... 647 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,760 I hurt her feelings, 648 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,760 and now she's pissed at me. 649 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,470 I feel like if I 650 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,470 could just explain myself, 651 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,470 she'd understand, 652 00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:46,630 but she's avoiding me. 653 00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:48,800 It's making me miserable. 654 00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:54,480 April's in the hospital, 655 00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:54,480 sick with the flu. 656 00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:57,020 What? I knew it! 657 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:58,180 I didn't know that. 658 00:15:58,250 --> 00:15:59,240 Is she okay? 659 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:00,380 Yeah, she's fine. 660 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,620 You can go visit her 661 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,620 tomorrow morning. But 662 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,620 don't tell her I told you. 663 00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:04,680 I won't. 664 00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,820 No, no, no. Nope. 665 00:16:08,530 --> 00:16:09,620 Okay. 666 00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:14,890 Before we get started, 667 00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:14,890 a quick announcement. 668 00:16:14,970 --> 00:16:17,840 Every Thursday night 669 00:16:14,970 --> 00:16:17,840 is ladies' night 670 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,470 down at the Snakehole Lounge 671 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,470 over on Burnham Avenue. 672 00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,670 Ladies get two drinks 673 00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,670 for the price of one. 674 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,510 Oh, no, 675 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,510 that can't be right. 676 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:27,780 That's way too 677 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:27,780 good of a deal. 678 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:32,620 Nope. 679 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:32,620 That is what it says. Wow. 680 00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:34,090 That sounds like 681 00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:34,090 a fun time. 682 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,890 Anyway, 683 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,890 it is now my great honor 684 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,890 to welcome to the stage 685 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,990 the woman responsible 686 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,990 for the entire 687 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,990 Harvest Festival. 688 00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:42,930 Ladies and gentlemen, 689 00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:42,930 Leslie Knope! 690 00:16:56,210 --> 00:16:59,150 Every one of you, 691 00:16:56,210 --> 00:16:59,150 just by showing up 692 00:16:56,210 --> 00:16:59,150 here tonight, 693 00:16:59,780 --> 00:17:01,010 has already made history. 694 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:05,550 In days past, 695 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:05,550 the Harvest Festival 696 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:05,550 was the cornerstone 697 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,120 of Pawnee's 698 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,120 small-business community, 699 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:09,920 a weeklong showcase 700 00:17:09,990 --> 00:17:12,960 for everything from 701 00:17:09,990 --> 00:17:12,960 textiles to small farms. 702 00:17:13,090 --> 00:17:16,830 By our estimates, 703 00:17:13,090 --> 00:17:16,830 as many as 30,000 people 704 00:17:13,090 --> 00:17:16,830 might attend the festival, 705 00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:18,130 and the monetary value 706 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,860 of that kind of direct 707 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,860 customer-to-business exposure 708 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,960 is, frankly, incalculable. 709 00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:26,800 What? 710 00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:29,310 Three, two, one. 711 00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:30,680 And my shift's over. 712 00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:32,610 What the 713 00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:32,610 is your problem? 714 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,210 Whoa, I thought you 715 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,210 weren't gonna lose it. 716 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,410 While I was on duty, 717 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,410 I didn't. Now it's just me. 718 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,820 I get that you're mad that 719 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:38,820 I kissed Andy, okay? 720 00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:41,620 But it was 721 00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:41,620 a moment of confusion, 722 00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:41,620 and it was a mistake. 723 00:17:41,690 --> 00:17:43,180 And I'm very sorry. 724 00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:44,490 You want to hate me forever? 725 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,030 Okay. 726 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,030 Fine! 727 00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:47,490 You know what? 728 00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:47,490 I don't care. 729 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,620 But you shouldn't 730 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,620 take it out on Andy, 731 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:51,500 because he really likes you, 732 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:51,500 and he did nothing wrong. 733 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,540 And just for the record, 734 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,540 I'm starting to hate you, too. 735 00:17:57,470 --> 00:17:59,460 That's the most 736 00:17:57,470 --> 00:17:59,460 I've ever liked Ann. 737 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:01,970 The time is now. 738 00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:04,110 The place is Pawnee. 739 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,550 Let's make history. 740 00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:10,510 Thank you. 741 00:18:08,950 --> 00:18:10,510 That was amazing. 742 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:15,020 That was 743 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:15,020 a flu-ridden Michael Jordan 744 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:15,020 at the '97 NBA finals. 745 00:18:15,090 --> 00:18:18,320 That was Kirk Gibson 746 00:18:15,090 --> 00:18:18,320 hobbling up to the plate 747 00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,290 and hitting a homer 748 00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,290 off of Dennis Eckersley. 749 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,730 That was... 750 00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:25,530 That was Leslie Knope. 751 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,130 Thank you so much. 752 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,130 Any questions? 753 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:30,130 Yes, sir? 754 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,770 Are we going to get 755 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,770 the same sales-tax 756 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,770 incentives we used to? 757 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,470 That's a very 758 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,470 good question, sir, 759 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:38,380 and I would counter 760 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:38,380 with my own question, 761 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:38,380 which is, 762 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,240 why is half of 763 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,240 your face all swirly? 764 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,840 Okay, unfortunately, 765 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,650 Leslie has another 766 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,650 very important 767 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,650 meeting right now. 768 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,850 So if you have 769 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,850 any other questions, 770 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,750 you can just 771 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,750 direct them towards me. 772 00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:51,990 Give it up, everybody, 773 00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:51,990 for Scott Bakula 774 00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:51,990 from Quantum Leap. 775 00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:54,190 All right. Okay, let's... 776 00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:56,130 Excuse me. 777 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,560 And to answer 778 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,560 your question, sir, 779 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,330 there will be sales-tax 780 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,330 incentives this year. 781 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,890 I think I should 782 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,890 drive you to the hospital. 783 00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:03,770 Was I wearing a tiara 784 00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:03,770 when I came in here? 785 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,270 Because if you 786 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,270 happen upon it, 787 00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:08,470 will you have Lady Pennyface 788 00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:08,470 retrieve it and 789 00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:08,470 send it post-hence? 790 00:19:12,410 --> 00:19:13,750 Oh, hey. 791 00:19:12,410 --> 00:19:13,750 Hey, there. 792 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,810 I got you some waffles here, 793 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,810 courtesy of JJ's diner, 794 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,320 and chicken soup, 795 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,320 courtesy of me. 796 00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:22,250 I'll take the waffles. 797 00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:22,250 Thank you. 798 00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:22,250 Okay. 799 00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:27,330 So how did the rest 800 00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:27,330 of the meeting go? 801 00:19:27,430 --> 00:19:30,920 Well, you said you 802 00:19:27,430 --> 00:19:30,920 needed eighty total 803 00:19:27,430 --> 00:19:30,920 businesses to participate. 804 00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:32,230 Yeah. 805 00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:33,490 We have 110, 806 00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:34,990 and counting. 807 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,330 So, nice work, Leslie. 808 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,310 Nice work to you too. 809 00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:41,670 Left the chicken soup there, 810 00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:41,670 just in case. 811 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,240 It's an old family recipe. 812 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,240 It's not a big deal, but... 813 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,610 Thank you for that. 814 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,610 Okay. 815 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,310 Hi, April. 816 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,310 It's me, Andy. 817 00:19:57,290 --> 00:19:59,020 Just stay sleeping. 818 00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:02,190 I am going to be here 819 00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:02,190 when you wake up. 820 00:20:03,130 --> 00:20:05,220 I will not leave your side. 821 00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:13,770 You could be asleep for hours. 822 00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:13,770 Maybe I'll come back later. 823 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,640 Hope you feel better. Okay. 824 00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:21,280 And I know you think 825 00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:21,280 that I'm a jerk, but 826 00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:21,280 I hope you can forgive me. 827 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,950 Gross. Your forehead 828 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,950 is all sweaty. That's gross. 829 00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,650 But I still like you. Okay. 830 00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:34,690 That's disgusting. 831 00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:44,400 Got your message. 832 00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:44,400 What's up? 833 00:20:44,470 --> 00:20:46,600 I got a call from 834 00:20:44,470 --> 00:20:46,600 the boys upstairs. 835 00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:48,400 And they have a new 836 00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:48,400 assignment for us. 837 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,570 Okay. 838 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,570 Yeah. 839 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,380 And I feel like 840 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,380 we should ask for 841 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,380 an extension to stay here. 842 00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:54,440 Yes, definitely. 843 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,810 You know, 844 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,810 the festival thing's 845 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,810 getting pretty huge, 846 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,550 and a couple loose ends 847 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,550 that need tying up. 848 00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,650 Good, so I'll 849 00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,650 make the call then, 850 00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,650 to get the extension? 851 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,350 Yeah, they need our help. 852 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,350 For the loose ends. 853 00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:04,410 Great. 854 00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:04,410 Good. 855 00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:06,290 Okay, you need 856 00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:06,290 a ride back to the office? 857 00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:09,420 No, no, I'm gonna 858 00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:09,420 go for a light 15k. 859 00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:09,420 I missed yesterday. 860 00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,720 Way to go, buddy. 861 00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,720 Way to go.